elevator football again?
yeah. you can be the cheerleader.
ahh!
give me the ball!
ay!
♪ 3, 5, 7, 9 ♪
♪ moseby will kick your behind ♪
whoo-oo!
i'd hate to interrupt your little game of
actually, i don't mind
interrupting your little game. come here.
i need your signatures on this contract.
what's it for?
oh, just a little document i've drawn up,
specifying that you won't disturb our v.i.p. guests this week,
which includes "no football in the lobby."
i call it a pre-restraining order.
i object.
overruled.
mr. moseby.
ah. mr. babalabaloo.
everything is in place for the royal visit.
initial here,here, and here.
rest assured, the prince's stay will be relaxing and tranquil.
[screams] i just saw a flying saucer.
with entertainment in the lobby
every half hour.
wait. you saw aliens?
she probably just saw herself in the mirror.
i was out on my balcony,
and i saw something round and shiny in the sky.
that's called the moon.
i know that. and during the day, it's called the sun.
now, excuse me. my mask is hardening.
decent throw.
thank you. i have never thrown one of these,
but i am watching it on tv.
what's your name?
sanjei. and you are?
i'm zack and he's cody.
so you two are being beans in a pod.
i mean, being identical.
yeah, except i'm funnier, better-looking,
and chicks dig me.
wanna go hang out?
yes, i would.
come on, j.
j.? is this being a nickname?
well, some people call me junkyard dog.
most people call you blanket-huggin' geek.
well, after that, they call me junkyard dog.
♪ here i am in your life ♪
♪ here you are in mine ♪
♪ yes, we have a suite life ♪
♪ most of the time ♪
♪ you and me got the world to see ♪
♪ so come on down ♪
♪ just me and you know what to do ♪
♪ so come on down ♪
♪ it's you and me and me and you ♪
♪ we got the whole place to ourselves ♪
♪ you and me, we got it all for free ♪
♪ so come on down ♪
♪ this is the suite life ♪
♪ we've got a suite life ♪
captioning made possible by abc cable networks group
hike!
i'm open.
great catch.
unh.
both: ay-yi-yi-yi!
ooh, i am liking that odd gesture.
in ishkabar, we just bow.
ishkabar? where is that?
well, if you paid attention in class,
you'd know it's a small island between india and thailand,
and its main export is lima beans.
we'll forgive you for that.
ok.
time for the extra point.
first you call the elevator.
then when the doors open, you have to kick it through
before they close.
and then you run for your life.
halt.
are you forgetting the contract?
i said no football.
yes. but if i may refer you to paragraph 3
subsection d, roman numeral v-i-i.
you said "no football in the lobby."
last time i checked, this was a hallway.
ha ha ha.
there you are.
we've been looking everywhere for you, your highness.
you're the prince?
yes. the heir to the throne of ishkabar.
why didn't you tell us you were the prince?
i am not worthy. i am not worthy. i am not worthy.
that is why.
your highness, please forgive me
if you were bothered by these two hooligans.
these are my friends.
tomorrow they have invited me to the indoor bazaar.
you mean mall?
actually, jim's jerky joint is featuring a new mystery meat.
it is bizarre.
come, your highness. you are late for your diplomacy lesson.
can't i do it tomorrow? i need a break.
no. tomorrow you're meeting with the mayor
and addressing the entire ishkabarian community.
fortunately, they both have the day off.
london: maddie, check it out. i made a sign for the aliens.
well, what if they don't speak english?
got it covered.
"hola aliens"?
well, it looks like you don't need me. adios.
ok. but you're gonna miss it
when i get the first video of an alien spaceship.
yeah, you're gonna miss it, too,
unless you take the lens cap off.
look, i got to go.
we're defrosting the freezer at my house tonight
and if i don't hurry, grandma's gonna grab my frozen fish stick.
fine. i'll just cancel the lobster dinner.
lobster?
yeah.
is it...fresh?
it still thinks it has plans this weekend.
well, maybe i could help you and look for aliens
at least through dinner.
and if they haven't arrived yet, maybe through dessert.
say, creme brule?
ok. creme brule.
just say it to room service.
ohm.
knock it off.
ok.
mom, zack's touching my aura.
nice turban.
you hang around with sanjei again today?
yeah, until that babaloo guy made j. stop playing.
just because he had to pass a few laws.
that babaganush guy is so bossy.
"do this. do that."
"go here. go there." he's worse than a mother.
i consider you more of a friend.
oh, good.
'cause friends don't have to give friends allowances.
see you after my show. love you.
both: love you.
i'm going to meditate.
can you hurry up and find your inner peace?
i wanna have a bread fight and i wanna meditate.
j. does it, and that's how he stays so calm and serene.
i cannot take this! i cannot!
by the dust of korish,i've had enough!
yeah, he's bliss on a stick.
i'm sick of doing my duty
and always being told what to do.
the sacred turban is never to touch the ground.
you're also not supposed to do this.
forgive him, great kanish.
he's lost his lentils.
i want to stay here with you and be regular kid.
aren't you supposed to be getting the key to the city tomorrow?
i don't care. i want to be a normal boy.
it's not as much fun as being in a palace.
what good is a palace when you're a prisoner inside of it?
ok, i've got a plan. yes.
that's what he always says right before we get grounded.
no. this plan is surefire.
correction. that's what he always says right before we get grounded.
here's how it's gonna work.
one of us will take sanjei's place at the ceremony tomorrow.
brilliant.
except he looks nothing like us.
his plans only work for twins.
then why don't you come up with something better?
i've got it. at formal ceremonies
don't you wear the traditional shabakababa?
yes. cody, you're being a genius.
what are you guys talking about?
why do you even bother to go to school?
a shabakababa is your traditional headdress which covers the face.
oh. so when you and i go to the mall and have fun,
cody will pretend to be you.
exactly. which makes me the prince.
ooh, this will be very exciting.
tomorrow i will be living the suite life
of zack and cody and sanjei.
all: huh-huh- ay-yi-yi-yi-yi!
the mayor is waiting for us downstairs.
yes, and thank you again for honoring my hotel
by allowing us to hold the ceremony here.
oh, mr. moseby, quick question.
not now, zack.
see, if you hadn't
taken the time to say "not now, zack,"
i would've been finished.
but now here we are at the beginning of my question.
very well. what is it?
in the contract,
are cody and i the party of the first part
or the party of the second part?
and which party is not allowed to party?
i don't have time for this.
ow! paper cut.
ow! ow! i'm bleeding out.
remember, all you have to do is sit there and say, "thank you.
i love boston. Go red sox."
no problem.
but i'm still shorter than you even in my mom's high heels.
i don't see anything.
well, you can't see a broken heart either, but it hurts.
kiss it, mr. moseby?
all better.
you're the best, sarah.
i can see myself in my toenails.
i can't believe we stayed up all night and didn't see any aliens.
they probably didn't come because they sense you're a nonbeliever.
you're right.
i'll send out an "i believe in aliens" vibe tonight.
thanks, sarah. Give yourself a nice tip.
on london.
i really hope they come.
why do you care so much?
if i could catch a u.f.o.
people would think of me as smarter,
more...scientifical.
as far as i'm concerned,
you are scientifilicious.
pass the biscotti.
maddie.
if an alien were really, really cute,
would you date him?
absolutely not.
i don't believe in long-distance relationships.
would you?
maybe. if his spaceship was a convertible.
this is called a hot dog.
in this country you eat dogs?
no, no, no.
a hot dog is made from...
well, nobody really knows for sure.
just try it. come on. be brave.
this is delicious. Huh?
i may be alone among my people,
but i love this country.
i've never felt so free.
and not just because these shorts are so wonderfully baggy.
speaking of wonderful, check out those girls.
i am agreeing with you. i will summon them.
you may approach me.
they must be hard from hearing.
that whole clapping thing,
it doesn't work on american girls.
then how do you get them?
you got to turn on the charm, be smooth.
check this out.
hey, ladies.
didn't i see you on the cover
of i like blond guys magazine?
if you were a snake charmer,
you'd be dead by now.
as mayor of boston,
we welcome you to our city with this key.
thank you very much.
i love boston.
go, red sox.
accommodations provided by the tipton hotel
where everyone is treated like royalty.
ha ha ha ha!
for reservations, call 1-800...
ahem. thank you.
uh, uh, uh. ha ha.
any questions?
oy.
your highness,
is there anything you like
besides boston and the red sox?
uh...
the tipton.
what an articulate young man!
aah!
they're hideous!
who are you calling hideous,
mr. avocado head?
you cower to an inferior life form?
you're unworthy of our mission!
mom said "use your words."
mom's 2 trillion light years away.
deal with it.
welcome to earth.
we are friendly people.
does everyone on your planet
wear baggy blue and silver suits?
that is my skin.
and it's lovely.
so what's your planet like?
it's 2,000 degrees year round.
but it's a dry heat.
oh, well that explains your wrinkles.
careful, or i will erase your mind.
too late. heh.
so are you a peaceful people?
mmm, yeeeah.
we've achieved intergalactic peace.
we find planets are quite peaceful
after they have been destroyed.
you slapslub, that's supposed to be a secret!
here's another secret: mom likes me best.
when you say "destroy the planet,"
you don't mean the attractive, rich hotel heiresses, do you?
yeah, we mean everyone.
you can't destroy the human race!
i mean, sure, we're flawed,
but we have an infinite capacity to love and--
enough small talk!
time to vaporize you.
but i didn't--
talk to the tentacles.
you know, i have some skin cream
at will takeeof tari
really?
mm-hmm.
that could take the cellulite
off of mom's knick knock.
mm.
deal.
ok.
do you have to go potty before we leave?
'cause it's a long trip back,
and i'm not gonna stop at every planet along the way.
♪ i saved the world, i saved the world ♪
♪ i saved the world ♪
london! wake up! wake up!
what? what?
there's a flying saucer outside!
ooh! they came back!
i'm gonna make a fortune off this video!
get the camera! get the camera!
forget the camera! i'm getting the skin cream!
zach, in america, are the girls liking it
when you give them gifts?
yeah, but i hope you saved up enough money
to take them to a movie.
i'm having no money at all.
sanjei never get his money.
then how did you get all this stuff?
i just took it. my people will pay.
what people? i'm your people,
and your people got nothin'.
in which case,
you've just been caught red handed.
unhand me, peasant.
i am prince sanjei of ishkabar.
mm-hmm, and i'm the queen of sheba.
oh, nice to meet you, your highness.
oh, a comedian, huh? you are in big trouble.
you are the one who's big in trouble.
i banish you.
and yet, i'm still here.
hey, let him go. he didn't know any better.
ok, who are you?
i am prince sanjei's legal counsel,
and as such, i believe
he has diplomatic immunity.
i believe you're goin' to mall jail.
hey, wait! don't take him!
so girls, do you like the bad boy type?
we'll be out in 5 to 10.
wait for us.
prince sanjei, could you elaborate?
go, boston.
i love red sox.
[cell phone rings]
ooh.
got that-- 7 times.
shoplifting? that's impossible.
he's right here.
oh, no.
i see.
not so fast, your highness.
if you are a highness. aah!
how dare you touch the head of--
who the balok are you?
how did i get here?
i must have been sleepwalking.
heh. make that sleep running.
are they still here?
yep, and i'm getting it all on tape.
we're going to be rich.
uh, london?
mm-hmm?
remember your birthday last week?
how could i forget? me, and 1,000 of my closest friends.
oh, yeah, by the way, thanks for inviting me.
why do you ask?
because i'm not looking at a flying saucer.
i'm looking at a silver mylar balloon
that reads "happy birthday, london."
oh, so the aliens do speak english!
there are no aliens.
your ufo is just a balloon
caught on a tv antenna.
so i'm not gonna be mentioned in scientifical american?
who cares about that? the point is,
i'm not going to be rich.
and i'm loving being rich.
i know. it's great, isn't it?
hey, wait a minute. Is that the only reason
you've stayed up here with me all this time?
no. i did it in the interest
of scientifical exploration.
you used me.
we used each other. that's what friends do.
you taught me that.
we're done. get out.
no, wait. but i still haven't had my hot stone massage.
wait till the sun comes out,
then roll around in the gravel.
[gasps] wait!
there's so many other scientifical discoveries to be made.
oh, look, a unicorn!
oh, please.
everyone knows unicorns live in australia.
[plays harmonica]
this is awful.
let me out! let me out!
i cannot take it anymore!
you've only been in here for 15 minutes.
zach!
mom!
prince sanjei. mr. babalabaloo.
delilah? karen?
you know each other?
from my book club.
so these are your twins.
sadly, yes.
well, well, well, zach's in jail.
why am i not surprised?
how could you do something like this?
i can't even tell you how much trouble you are in.
mom, it wasn't me. Sanjei stole the stuff.
hey. you are being fired as my lawyer.
princeanjei, are you all righ ?
he really is a prince?
my bad.
release him immediately.
i'll release him when he pays for the stuff he took.
i'll take care of it.
it's on the tipton hotel.
this would never have happened
if you had been doing your duty.
all he ever does is his duty.
and my duty stinks.
what he's trying to say is...
he just wanted to be a regular kid.
you two stay out of this.
now prince sanjei knows that being a prince
is a serious obligation,
and there is no time for fun.
hey, he's just a kid.
look, mr. babaloo.
babalabaloo. babalabaloo.
whatever.
i may not know anything about royalty,
but i do know about kids,
and they need balance in their lives.
that's what you're depriving sanjei of.
silence.
no. you be silent.
but prince...
the prince is speaking.
you tell him, j.
i know i must fulfill all of my duties.
but in the future,
i want you to be scheduling more time for fun
and less for unpleasant things.
yeah, that press conference was like detention with cameras,
and i have a bunion on my foot
the size of a football.
and to kick off our policy of fun,
we will be going to the amusement park tomorrow
and riding the roller coaster until we puke.
but your highness--
and if you're having any problem with that,
you may take it up with my new minister of defense,
the queen of sheba.
me? oh.
you can call me delilah,
your majesty. but...
don't but me, 'cause i'll but back.
i will make the arrangements.
all right! we're going to the amusement park!
ho, not so fast.
you two are in big trouble.
impersonating a prince in my new high heels?
not to mention your high jinks embarrassed my hotel
which is a clear violation of our contract.
ooh, let's look at the punishment clause.
mr. moseby.
if you show mercy,
i will recommend the tipton
to all of my royal friends.
well, have a cotton candy for me, boys.
[laughs]
all: huh, huh, ai-yi-yi-yi-yi!
captioning made possible by abc cable networks group
captioning performed by the national captioning institute, inc.